What? A New Post? Say it Ain't So!!

Yes, I know I've totally ignored this blog for the last two or three months. And yes, I admit, part of the reason was because, quite frankly, I failed. I bombed. I weakened, withered, and burned.

However, for the last six weeks this has not been the case. After Christmas I actually got back on the wagon. As a result, I've lost about 28-30 pounds. That's only about half the weight I must lose, but hey, it's progress! And certainly worth celebration. I've gone down four inches in waist size. Many of my old clothes actually fit again! I feel great, and my attitude for ultimate success if very high.

How did I do it? Well, I did that hormone thing. HSG? I can't recall the exact initials. But every morning I prick my leg with a two-inch needle and inject some kind of magic hormone obtained from the urine of pregnant women. I know. It sounds totally sick and gross. But hey, it works. And, as opposed to paying nearly $500 a month (which is what Optifast was costing) I now only pay about $30 a month. I realize for most people on HSG they aren't so lucky. They go to spas or clinics and sometimes fork over as much as four or five hundred a month for this treatment. I was fortunate enough that a guy in my Ward--the same guy who introduced the whole concept to me--bought a whole crate of the stuff out of India for some extraordinary price. So he taught me the procedure, let me read up on the various "phases", and here I am about to begin "phase 3," as they call it.

I like this diet plan, in particular, because it literally forces you to change your eating habits. So I've lost about 30 pounds. But I can't lose the NEXT thirty pounds for about six weeks. The hormone apparently "wears off" or loses its effectiveness after about 40 days, so a person needs to give it at least six weeks before their body flushes it out and the hormone starts to work properly again. During this six weeks I basically spend the first three weeks doing an "Atkins" kind of thing--consuming no sugar or carbs. Then, during the last three weeks, I slowly introduce in a few carbs, but all the time carefully monitering the effect on my body. The challenge (and command) of the "plan" is that during this six weeks I must weigh in regularly and meticulously--never gaining more than two pounds. In this way, it forces me to learn a new way of eating--hopefully something I can live with for the rest of my life.

Side effects? None that I can tell. This hormone has been miraculous. No hunger pangs whatsoever. I still feel "jealous", I suppose, when my wife and family are consuming great food around me, but the actual physical hunger pangs are non-existent. Optifast would also eventually reach this stage, but it sometimes took two harrowing weeks before this kicked in, and it never actually kicked in the way this diet does. On HSG it only took two days. In fact, for the first few days of this diet you're actually supposed to "pig out" on anything and everything while the hormone works into your system.

I've heard that a possible side effect is "losing hair"--something that some women also report during pregnancy. So far I've experienced none of that. Maybe during the next round, six weeks from now, I'll see some of this occur. But, hey as with pregnant women, the stuff apparently grows back. (Knock on wood.)

So anyway, the Heimer-blob is still a bit of a blob, but he doesn't take up quite as much space in the mirror as he did before. These next six weeks are critical. I cannot gain any weight, and I need to introduce an exercise regimen to my day, because right now, while slaving away on my next "Tennis Shoes" book, I haven't been working out AT ALL. I really didn't want to start exercising during the "hormone" phase. But now I think I can kick it up a notch. I'll fill you in the progress.

Hopefully a few more of you are also succeeding with various New Years resolutions. Keep the faith!

Chris Heimerdinger