Eat Your Hearts Out!

Well, not literally. That would be bad for any diet.

But I have to ask, do I still have any supporters?? As of today there are apparently 13 people who visit this blog, and yet very few offered words of encouragement regarding my floundering diet. Oh, for sadness!

Eh, all right. I'm guess I'm really not that concerned. Aftar all, a diet is a private thing. Maybe I'm mostly writing this blog for my own use and purposes. But I am happy to report that I had a very successful day of dieting yesterday, and so far so good today. I feel a resurgence of confidence. I'm not even going to muddy that confidence by whining about how "hard this is" or how "I just might fail tomorrow" or bla, bla, bla.

Fact is, I'm back on track. And I deeply hope that my success continues.

Prepare yourselves for the "incredible shrinking man!"

Okay so...

...I have to admit. I'm not doing so well. I've only dieted successfully one day since Saturday. That was Monday. Otherwise...it's been a mess. I don't think I've pigged out, like usual. I go till maybe five or six P.M, then I break the diet. I don't even know if anyone reads this particular blog, but if so...I could use some encouragement....

Just like I said...

Remember when I said if I stopped posting for a few days it was probably a sign of disaster? Well, disaster it has come. I have not been on the diet since Tuesday. That was the day major stress hit.

Anyone who has ever dieted (and if you haven't we all secretly despise you anyway) knows that stress is generally the most common cause of failure. It's not hunger. It's LIFE! Life kicks in in a big way whenever we try to conquer this beast, and afterwards we return to our old habits of making food our source of comfort. Trouble is, LIFE comes at a person in an endless variety of stressful ways. When one attempts a diet I suppose one has to EXPECT stress to enter their life in a big way. It's just how things work. So the trick is to recognize that it's gonna happen, and already we will have our mental armor snugly in place so that when stress hits, as it inevitably will, it doesn't kill the diet. Because we ALL KNOW that failure on a diet only ADDS to our stress. Any other promise is a cotton-pickin' lie! The promise of food as a source of comfort ends up being a foul deception.

So what's the plan from here? Well DUH! The plan is to start again. What else can I do? But it won't be today. Today I face the SECOND most common cause of failure on a diet--going out to eat with dinner guests. And even worse (for me) going out to eat Thai food. You think I'm gonna sit there and not eat? Besides, we even have a coupon for this restaurant. One of those "buy one, get one free meal" thingees. Well, the coupon won't work unless I eat, right?! Oh sure! Go ahead and tell me that if I SAVE the coupon, it will cost the same anyway, and I can just sit there and suck on a diet soda! Yeah right! A cyborg might do something like that. But not a human being!

And then tomorrow I'm taking my boys fishing. And we all know that only a very small portion of a fishing trip is about catching fish. The rest is about eating JUNK FOOD! Besides, how am I supposed to take my Optifast powder on a fishing trip? I don't have a car adaptor for my hand mixer!!!!

Actually...now that I think about it...I think I DO have an adaptor that would work for my hand mixer. Hmmm. And if I concentrate on FISHING and not JUNK FOOD...This could work. This just might work. If I force the kids to bring something unappetizing like ham sandwiches and chips...I may be onto something here.

Okay, here's my new goal. TOMORROW I AM GOING FISHING. And I will BRING MY HAND MIXER and my car adaptor and my Optifast powder.

I can do this. I can start the diet again tomorrow. Sunday should then be easy. After Church and after Church choir I can hide in my bedroom or the TV room all day and avoid the kitchen. That would be two solid days of success...Yes, I think I can do this.

All right. Starting tomorrow, I'm back on the wagon. Just believe in me, please? If my blog readers can't believe...who will? :)

Back on Track???

So I weighed myself this morning, after one more sucessful day of dieting--and three days in the last five that were total blunders. And what a kind scale it was! Despite my sins and shortcomings and short-sightedness (by not ordering new food in time) I have nevertheless lost 9.5 pounds since I began this exploit. That was very encouraging. I was sure that I had gained back half or ALL of what I had lost during the week when I was successful with sticking to the diet. So with this tiny bright spot in my morning, I hope that I have the incentive to stick to the diet today. Fridays are tough. Our entire society lives and dies with eating mingled with entertainment on weekends. So if I'm on a diet I'm always the odd man out saying "no thank you" to food offers and then generally having to explain why I'm refusing and telling the same story over and over and over. Let's see if I can successfully get through the weekend without eating and keep the fact that I'm dieting secret from everybody who might otherwise notice.

The challenge, really, is just sticking to the diet at all. But maybe this added challenge will put the focus on something besides food cravings.

Funny story...

Yes, it's so funny. He, he, he. So there I am yesterday at about ten minutes after 5:00 PM, broken and forlorn because the mean Mr. UPS did not come, meaning I would face another day of going off my diet. So, in a state of sadness and dejection (which was only assuaged by the pure joy I felt that I could eat FOOD!) I began to happily binge on banana bread and leftovers.

When low and behold, at precisely fifteen minutes after 5:00 PM, Mr. UPS man drops a package at my door. Yup, precisely five minutes after my binge began. Unbelievable. But what is truly amazing is how much food I was actually able to consume in that five minutes. So there I am, with a full stomach, staring at my Optifast package and thinking (you guessed it) "Well, since I've already BLOWN IT for today, what does it matter? KEEP EATING!"

And that's exactly what I did. At least I had the good taste/sense to realize that for what I decided would be my FINAL meal--after the final meal (notice I didn't put that in caps) that I had over a week ago--I went to the Cheesecake Factory with my wife and completed my binge with Chicken Madiera. Perhaps the only bright spot in the story is that I was so stuffed that I didn't order any cheesecake.

Okay, that's my funny story. Not so funny. So what's the story today? You can see the time on this post, right? It's late on Thursday night--a day after my food arrived. And yes, I have successfully dieted today...so far. It really is an incredible feat. I have NEVER succeeded at this diet after failing so heinously. I have never gone more than three days without heinously failing again. Do you know what kept me from eating today? This silly blog. Yup, I didn't want to confess my utter failure on this blog that I created with the specific motive of celebrating my success.

So messy as this diet has been so far, I am, for now, back on track.

Let's just see what the next 24 hours brings.

Mr. UPS Man

What is this? Day....I dunno. I lost count. And there's a very good reason I lost count. Over the weekend I made a silly miscalculation. I ran out of food.

What I mean is, I ran out of Optifast protein packets. I reordered on Thursday before we left. But my food only lasted until Sunday. A very, very sad thing. Which means...I am loathe to admit...I went totally OFF the diet for two whole days. That's right. I went back to eating solid food. And I was not very disciplined about it either. Oh, my wife tried to help, but it tasted soooo gooooood! It was a stark reminder to me that unless one remains disciplined on this diet for at least two months, their hunger pangs are going to rule them entirely, and they will find themselves utterly lacking in self-control.

In fact, truth be told, I'm not sure if my food is going to arrive today or not. I'm anxiously awaiting the UPS dude in hopes that he will deliver my miracle powder. If he doesn't...I shudder to think of it.

See, I did manage to set aside enough packets (five a day, remember?) to last yesterday and with one remaining packet for today. I had actually hoped that the UPS dude would arrive on my doorstep yesterday. But it was not to be. According the l'il airbill number and the UPS website, the package is due to be delivered today. But nothing yet.

So I was back on the diet full bore yesterday, but today is another question. I suppose I could start a fast? Hope that it arrives tomorrow? But that would be sort of a mockery of fasting since I haven't started with prayer or a purpose or anything else. MR. UPS MAN MUST ARRIVE SOON!!!

It's extremely difficult to go back on this diet after one has gone back to solid food for even one day. Frankly, I consider the fact that I survived yesterday a miracle. If I make it through today, it's even more of a miracle. But if that food doesn't arrive, what choice do I have? Either I'll become miserably hungry and do something unhealthy by not eating at all...or I'll have another day of failure.

I'm lookin' out the window. Where is Mr. UPS???

Day...8?

I missed a day. But it was a long post in the main blog, so forgive.

And NO, I have not failed the diet. I have gone one week and one day. I'll weigh myself later, but I suspect if I've lost anything, it's only a pound or half pound.

In any case, I'm facing a major dilemma. We're going camping. How does one consume protein packets on a campout? This will be a new one for me. I'll bring a cup that I can "shake up" the contents. (Usually I use a hand blender 'cause this stuff does not like to mix up.) This will be great challenge.

Otherwise, the diet is going smoothly. Hunger pangs have subsided a lot. Still gets hard around dinner time, but not like before. I think I may have a very good thing going this time. My pants already fit much better. But I won't be able to leave another post on this blog until Monday. So....wish me luck.

Day 7

I can't officially claim that I have gone one week. I can only claim that honor tomorrow. But I am feeling pretty good. Today I did lose one additional pound. That means since the inception of the Optifast diet, I've lost 7 1/2 pounds. Based on past experience, that's just about right. 7-8 pounds for the first week is average. Most of it is, of course, water weight. Only about half, I think, is actual fat, and if I were to blow it now (which I have done before at this stage) I would immediately gain back four-five pounds (in a day or so) and the rest rather quickly (in the course of about a week). The weakness or flaw of Optifast or any other "protein shake"-type diet is always the yo-yo factor--to gain back all weight in a period of time which is almost equivalent to the time it took to lose it in the first place. And I have definitely experienced the "over-reaching" hunger pangs that cause me to eat more than normal if I fail on this diet after only a week or two. That's why, with Optifast, unless you stick with it for at least six weeks, you're just wasting your time, money, and energy. (Optifast can cost about 20 bucks a day!) But something happens around the 7 or 8-week mark. Maybe it's the 10 week mark, but it's somewhere around there, and I know it happens. Your "starvation mode" or set-point defensive button just sort of fizzles or gives up. Your body kind of says, "Well, I guess that weight is really, truly gone, so I'll just have to start from where you're at now." There's nothing scientific about that analysis. It's just an observation of my personal experience with this diet. The first time I did Optifast was back in the late 90s, and I actually kept the weight off for about five years. But I also incorporated a life-style change of daily exercise. I really didn't change my eating habits. But just started exercising a lot. I gave up that regimen about the time my life really started to change--three or so years ago. I know for this diet to work I'll have to do the lifestyle change again. With the help of my wife, I hope that succeeds.

Boy! It sounds like I'm celebrating victory here! Gotta get THAT outa my head. Fact is, I still have a very very long long way to go. In the past I've actually made it on this diet a full five or six weeks and then crashed and burned and failed heinously and started a binge-quest that lasted until nearly all the weight was gained back. So the six-week mark is another milestone that must be conquered. But until then, let me at least bask in the success of one week.

It's honestly getting easier. My food-lusts are slightly less overwhelming. And I'm very proud of my success.

Now excuse me while I go microwave a plate of Doritos topped with massive shredded chedder cheese and a nice big bowl of salsa mingled with bean dip.

Just kidding. :)

Day 6

Ah ha! Maybe some thought because I waited so far into the day before posting that I have failed in the diet. Ah contraire! (If that's spelled wrong than I confess right away I don't know French.) However, I cannot say that I was perfect yesterday. It was actually much like the day before. You see, yesterday was the first day since my actual birthday that my entire family was together. So my sweet wife did a 2nd birthday party for me, and cooked an entirely new dessert--a German chocolate pie with caramel and coconut and pecans and...Well, let's just say I skipped one of my meal packets and...you can probably guess the rest. But still, much like the night before, it was likely not a major sin. Or so I thought until I weighed myself this morning. AGAIN! I WEIGHED PRECISELY THE SAME AS THE DAY BEFORE!!!

Actually, I thought I was going to weigh a half pound MORE. But then I took a shower. And I must have had a half pound of total grime and scum on me, because when I got out of the shower and weighed myself again...well...I was back to what I had weighed the day before. I was trying to think of exactly what I did on that first day (two days into the diet) and weighed myself to discover that I was 6 and a half lbs lighter. Did I run a marathon that morning? Did I have swine flu? I don't recall any of those things...so it's just one of those weird weight things that haunt all dieters who obsess over what the digital scale might read. And obsess I do.

However, today, thus far, I am perfect, with no plans of cheating in the least. Cheating is very bad for me psychologically. So I have to start doing this thing 100%correctly. Am I still hungry? Yes. Am I suffering at the moment? Yes...but not as badly as Day 3. And not as badly as Day 4. Maybe it's getting easier. Maybe I'm getting into the groove. But in any case if I can get through tomorrow I can claim to have reached a major milestone. ONE FULL WEEK.

I look forward to that success with great anticipation.